Tag Archives: heartache

It’s over.

I did it. It’s done. It is over.  After a week of tears, sobs and general depression I feel like I am getting myself back. I feel strong again.  I am dancing around the house again.  It feels good.

The biggest problem I had during the week was everyone else.  The support overall was amazing.  But everyone had an opinion about how I should be dealing with him.  Did they all just hate him that much that they all suggested absolutely no contact or did they just think I was so weak and so much under his spell that I wouldn’t have been able to do it any other way?  Funnily enough the two people’s advice I respected the most was two people that I had to ask to get their thought on their opinion.

At the end of the day though, I didn’t do what everyone said to do.  I did what felt right for me.  What felt right for ‘us’.  No one knows what is going on in someone else’s relationship or break up, so sure give your opinion, but give it with the respect that I will do whatever the fuck I want to do and you should, if you are my friend, support me either way.

Case in point – My best friends husband had an affair for about a month.  She found out in dramatic style and now more than deal with the shitty thing her husband did, she has to deal with everyone’s opinion and cries of “Leave him!!” They say it more behind her back than to her face, but at the end of the day – does her choices actually effect your day to day? NO. Should you except her life choices and support her regardless? YES.  Like they say. Opinions are like assholes… Everyone has one.

As the Ex and I had a very different relationship, we have decided to be friends and still see each other while going thru the break up.  We know where each other stand and both recognize that we are so much better as friends than we are anything else.  And I know both of us can’t bear to not be in each others lives.  I feel so good and fresh about it, it’s like I am seeing things in a brand new light.  I am looking forward to the future, one day meeting the next man, and until that happens doing all the things I want to do when I want to do it without having to think about anyone else.

He was meant to come into my life for a reason. I am not going cast him aside just because we didn’t work out as a couple.

The future is bright. And I am going to do what’s right for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Unrequited love

I was at work the other day and there is nearly 40 something year old woman who has been in love with a guy for 7 years and he has shown zero interest in her aside from one kiss a year ago.  She lives at his house when he is working at the mines and he has explained to her on numerous occasions that he only wants to be her friend and nothing more.  He is clearly using her up, and gets pampered by her when he is home, but what makes a woman stick around waiting for so long with no light at the end of the tunnel?

This story really stuck with me.  It was tragically sad that this woman has wasted her life on a man who doesn’t want her.  All her emotions, feelings, thoughts are directed at him and what does she get back in return?  Fuck all clearly.  But why do we act this way?  Why do females feel the need to be wanted, regardless if they get anything in return.  It the mentality of “If I cook him his favourite meal maybe he will love me more”  “If I clean his house and make him comfortable he might love me” “If I give him my all, surely he will notice and love me back”  I’m sorry hunny but you are deluding yourself.

All her friends have told her that it is time to move on and find someone else.  Find someone who loves her for her and gives her the respect she deserves, but she continues to pine for this love.  Do women value themselves so barely that we can do this to ourselves our whole lives?

I hope for her sake that she sees the shit through the clay and moves on sooner rather than later before it’s too late and she gets jaded about life and love.

I also wish I could take my own bloody advice, but that’s a whole other story.