Never Flirt with a fat girl

Well here I am in the blog land.  For me this is slightly therapeutic and slightly well documentation of years of shit, confusion and general life issues.  Sounds like fun hey!

I don’t even know where to start.  I am a 30 something single woman who is trying to fight every single urge I have to not turn into a crazy in love idiot like everyone else.  I know it sounds harsh, but I am so used to seeing all my coupled women friends do atrocious things to their partners and I vow never to be like that. Never ever.

But here’s the issue.  I met a boy (he is still classified as a boy as he is only 26) and he gives me attention… so guess what?  I am losing my fucking mind.  I am always to go to girl with all my friends when they have love problems.  I have all the answers.  I always know what to say. My advice more often than not, works in the favour, but when it comes to my own “relationship” I lose my shit.  I’m insecure, I say all the wrong things to him, I think he finds me annoying some of the time and I stalk him on Facebook like a mutha fucker.  (Ohh I swear a lot so if you don’t like that I suggest finding another blog to read.)  I am not this girl.  I don’t wanna be this girl.  I don’t want to base my daily happiness on whether he called me last night or not, or what his last facebook share was all about.  Give me a break.  I am smarter than this and god damn it, I know better. So why the hell have my lady balls deserted me when I need them the most.

The female brain simply sucks.  But I am still going to fight it.  Problem with this is that I am so worried about making the mistakes that everyone else has made that I am petrified of doing anything! Don’t say that, don’t act like that, don’t cut off communication, don’t look like shit, don’t get emotional, don’t don’t don’t! For Fuck Sake! Stop! I used to think I had enough confidence to push threw all this shit, but obviously not. I guess I am just like everyone else.

So you may be wondering what is with this title…. Never Flirt with a Fat Girl…. its kind of like give them an inch and they will take a mile, that’s how I feel when it comes to men.  Being a bigger girl, men only need to give me an inch (get your mind outta the gutter!) and I will take a mile… flirt with me and I will think your mine.  Not in a crazy marriage kind of way, but a more of a I’m going to fuck your brains out kind of way.  (Now I’m in the gutter!) Been there done that. But I think I will leave that for my next blog post.  Do I have some stories to tell you!

 

 

 

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